May 24, 2009

The Cougar Lounge - How To Win The Lottery



"I think it would be in the best interest of the league."

- Washington athletic director Scott Woodward, after already winning new friends earlier by cutting the UW swimming program while new turf is going into the football stadium, is now trying to win friends in the Pac-10 by suggesting a revenue-sharing plan for the conference.




"It's a combination of things - the strength of our conference, the Big 12 brand, our great fans who travel extremely well and our television ratings."

- Missouri athletic director Mike Alden commenting on the $130 million the conference members will be sharing in revenues this year. Oh yeah, we know about the television ratings, Mike, Fox Sports chooses to cover Big 12 baseball over Pac-10 baseball - but did you forget the teensy weensy detail of having two teams in major bowls in that travesty of a college football system called the BCS Taliban?




"If Bud is in the stadium, Coors can't go inside."

- Marketing senior vice president Ryan Laul explaining the rules for Wazzu radio announcer Bud Nameck…oh wait….no…never mind, just some silly beer wars.




"I think 'suck' is an ugly word and too much usage could get annoying, but, no doubt, it's the optimal [slang] word in many situations."

- Another marketing vice president Max Kalehoff, possibly referring to the BCS Taliban and its lame system as one of those situations.








The Lounge berated the Memorial Day Weekend for all the evil concepts that usually come with it like an over-reliance on hot dogs as the staple food of backyard barbecues, the wearing of white may now commence for the year and the official opening day of the Switzerland's Barbie Raft Race competition. Reportedly, Ken was not happy about being left out of these festivities - is it his fault Swiss people like to dress up like Barbie instead of him and leap into pink rafts? - but he is not as angry as North Carolina A&T, who were juked by Delaware State this month in a sort of belated April Fool's Day surprise.

With social media networking being all over the joint these days, we are figuring that North Carolina A&T can go on Delaware State's Facebook page and Twitter account and refrain from being their friend or follower. In fact, one [or a faceless entity, pick your poison] can probably build up an impressive social media resume these days and with the economy the way it is, the Lounge thinks that should be included in any job application. Important life-changing events such as "I was Follower #367,401 of Ashton Kutcher's Twitter account and he told me he likes the new, thicker kind of Worcestershire sauce" or "I have 571 friends on my Facebook" should definitely hold the same weight as whatever degree one earned from college. Social media mavens may want to consider buying some oceanfront property in Bulgaria or Romania as that is where the Danish feel most of the opportunities lie.


Cougar fans and well-wishers do not have time for all of that as they are just happy that new men's hoop coach Ken Bone did not bring along his former Portland State director of basketball operations Wendell Raiford, who was recently arrested for a felony assault and that they have the best baseball team in the Pacific Northwest [since Oregon only cares about track and field in the spring - judging from the media credentials issued at the Pac-10 track and field championships in Eugene earlier in the month when no media entity outside of the state sent a representative].

"Now that they are in, where are they going?" asks e.e. sneezelle of Wazzu's baseball team's destination.

Well, let's not count those chickens before they are hatched, there Sneezy, but, yes, it does appear like a good bet that the Cougars will be in the NCAA tournament after clinching second place in the Pac-10 last week and winning their final series of the year over the Huskies. The selection show is tomorrow and we have seen much stranger things happen - Oregon women's soccer of a few years ago, for instance - but they should be in and we think they will not really care where they are sent, just as long as they are in for the first time in 19 years.

"What about Anderson?" asks Mr. Smarmy Whelk of Wazzu's 400-meter hurdle star, Jeshua Anderson.

Well, Smarmy, we think he has another NCAA championship in him this year unless he trips on a hurdle or eats too many hot dogs. The real question will be how fellow Pac-10 champions Trent Arrivey and Lorraine King fare at the NCAA championships.

While you are enjoying the onset of summer this weekend, perhaps you should consider joining the Evil League of Evil like the BCS Taliban? This could be accomplished by singing along with Doctor Horrible.

Meanwhile, the Lounge Scientists are on holiday this week chasing atoms and molecules all over the universe.

It has to be better than being North Carolina A&T.




+++++++sponsored by Clark's Restaurant+++++++++

Attention COUGAR fans and well-wishers! Summer is almost here and you have the hunger. How can you afford to go one day further without some tasty morsels from Clark's Restaurant in Grays Harbor - home of the Best Hamburger in Twin Harbors for nine consecutive years? Come in for the burger, fresh homemade fries and milkshakes concocted from homemade ice cream. Go ahead, we dare you to try and pass up more than 12 varieties of hamburgers to choose from, full dinners, lunch and full breakfast served daily. Clark's Restaurant 360.538.1487. Seven miles south of Aberdeen, Washington on Highway 101. Proud supporter of CougZone. Mention this ad for a free small hot chocolate.



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